At the Engage Seminar you will unlock your hidden wants and needs through a guided journey that promises you a new personal perspective on how you see yourself and others in the present and the future. This seminar will significantly change the way your life unfolds.
Why your body and mind’s reaction to pain creates defensive measures subconsciously and limits your potential automatically.
How to notice patterns of behavior created by these defensive measures and stop being controlled by them.
What specific beliefs and behaviors have limited you from reaching your fullest potential.
How to reignite joy and creativity through new internal beliefs that free you to choose and create the relationships and life you dream of.
Today, I was again overwhelmed by love.
Would you like to be overwhelmed by love? Literally filled with so much love that you couldn’t contain it and it poured out from you to others around you? Would you like your relationships to be fulfilling and satisfying beyond anything you could ever imagine? Do you believe it is even possible to feel that much acceptance and love?
I promise you that it is possible. I know because I experience it every day and I still can’t believe it.
My life wasn’t always like this. I’ve struggled in relationships and didn’t have good examples to follow growing up. I made many mistakes and many bad choices and have paid the price of those choices.
What made the difference?
I learned that brilliant ways of thinking I unconsciously chose as a child to comfort and protect me were the very same things that were sabotaging my relationships. Let me explain.
As a child, my life was better if I made everyone around me happy regardless of how I was feeling. I became a “yes” person, always focusing on other’s needs and wants. My life was safer and easier if they were happy. Maybe some of you can identify. I was a people pleaser with a hyper vigilant focus on others moods.
As an adult, I hated that I often found myself over committed and doing things I didn’t always want to do. I knew I hurt myself by always saying ‘yes’ when I wanted to say ‘no’. I judged myself as weak and stupid so I decided to learn all I could learn about people like me.
I began an extensive research project. I read veraciously, listened to self-help and motivational tapes (cassette tapes from 25 years ago) and attended seminars. From these, I would get all pumped up with excitement that I was valuable, worthy of expressing my wants and needs and able to set boundaries. I learned about boundaries and practiced saying “no”.
For a few months, it would stick. I could force myself to say ‘no’ even when it felt uncomfortable, but inevitably the day would come when I heard myself respond to a request I didn’t want to do. “Well….uh….no…..I really can’t….well, do you need me to do it?”
Again, I judged myself as weak and stupid, but it was worse this time. On top of my self-judgment, I added shame. SHAME?
You see, I really believed the books and speakers. I agreed that I needed to think of myself as valuable. I needed to believe I had a right to have boundaries. Here’s the problem. I couldn’t live it out in real life. I couldn’t just change my thinking and actions. So I was left wondering what was wrong with me when everyone else must be able to just ‘think better’, ‘act better’. All the other people must be able to just change. Why couldn’t I?
Then I learned the key that finally freed me.
What happened next floored me. In my new found freedom, I changed from the inside out.
This time when someone asked me to do something, I heard myself saying… “If you need me to tell you now, I have to say no, but if you can give me time to check my calendar (before cell phones), I will let you know if I can or not.” Upon hearing myself say this, I literally looked behind me to see where that answer came from. I wasn’t trying hard to be valuable and set a boundary. I realized something had changed inside me. I was different so my response was healthy.
What was the key?
I learned that the 5 specific “ways of thinking” I developed to help me through my childhood were brilliant only when applied to my childhood situations. However, these same childhood “ways of thinking” were so engrained in me that they became the way I looked at my self, others and all of life as an adult. Without consciously realizing it, I was powerfully recreating my childhood in my adult relationships. I was living “into the past”, not the future. Once discovering these personal and specific “ways of thinking”, I was freed from their control of me. It’s like In the age of cell phones, I’m was still using Morse code.
I was changed from the inside out instead of learning a new way I “should” think or behave.
This was so radical for me that I have dedicated my life to freeing others.
I developed a structured, interactive and fun system for quickly and easily identifying anyone’s “ways of thinking” and getting them free. This awareness of yourself and your perceptions gives you the power to change it.
For 22 years, I have taught this system in various settings…one-on-one, with couples or in small group intensive seminars. I personally guarantee that everyone who learns this system will experience the freedom I experienced so long ago.
During the course, each participant is able to…
1. Identify the highly personal and unique way they have been recreating their past.
2. Understand how the past continues to affect the present.
3. See clearly how their “ways of thinking” have outlived their usefulness.
4. Create a highly personalized plan for powerfully living now with a new perspective.
This seminar is for people who are seeking the answers to better relationships with themselves, others and life. It will provide a solid foundation to help you create sustainable happiness in your relationships.